Tips for dealing with Lichen Sclerosus.
- Avoid using soap products. These are known to cause irritation to LS affected skin.
- Use a good Zerobased moisturizer.
- IF YOU ARE USING DERMOL 500 PLEASE NOTE THAT NEW GUIDELINES STATE TO USE AS A WASH AND NOT AS A MOISTURIZER.
- If urinating is painful, use a good barrier cream like Vaseline before as this will keep the urine off the Vulva skin. This is also good to apply before Swimming to minimize the effects of Chlorine. PLEASE ENSURE TO STAY AWAY FROM FIRE/FLAMES IF USING BARRIER CREAMS AS THEY CAN BE FLAMMABLE. Also try this before cycling or purchase a split seat and before running.
- You can also try using a sitz bath bidet during urination.
- After urinating use a clean spray or peri bottle to wash off any urine and let the area air dry.
- Steroid ointment has less irritants in so think about switching from cream to ointment.
- An Antihistamine before bed can help alleviate itching and burning.
- Instillagel is a local anaesthetic Gel which also helps to alleviate the itching and burning.
- Wear 100% cotton underwear to reduce irritation. Preferably go commando at night.
- Epsom salt/Sea salt baths can help ease symptoms.
- During your Period, wear Sanitary towels that are 100% cotton. You can also purchase a moon cup or period pants which can help more.
- Using Essential oils can be beneficial to reduce symptoms. Popular ones include Lavender and Aloe Vera.
- Many women find Coconut Oil soothing and also a good lubricant for intercourse.
I must state here that every woman is different and will tolerate oils differently to others. Its trial and error to find the ones that suit you.
Partner Support
Partner support is essential to anyone suffering with Lichen Sclerosus. Many times we see marriages or partnerships break down due to a lack of understanding.
In this section, We will explore key aspects of living with someone who has Lichen Sclerosus, the do's and don'ts, the emotional impact, fears and what it is they need from you.
As a sufferer of Lichen Sclerosus myself and dealing with many women with it, I know only too well the feelings and thoughts of a sufferer. So we will begin with the emotional aspects.
As soon as we hear that diagnosis the first thing we will do is cry, then google and cry again. Google throws up worst case scenarios (at least until we are ready to see the mountain of good information available) and we will see pictures of women who have barely any vulva left and always we will see the word cancer. This is the point where fear and panic will kick in, thoughts that will cross our minds will be:
Do I have Cancer?
Will I get Cancer?
Am I going to die?
What will happen to my family/children If I die?
As you can see, these are not the nicest of thoughts for anyone to have, but they are real fears. The 5% chance they mention feels more like a 95% chance at this point.
Then we google the symptoms and guess what? the symptoms of vulva cancer and Lichen Sclerosus are extremely similar. More fear and panic follows rapidly.
This is just the tip of the iceberg emotionally. On top of this we are dealing with very little information from our medical professionals, pain that feels like someone is holding a burning flame to our vulva, itching so bad its like we have chickenpox on our vulva and at this point, I bet less than 1% have actually dared to look at our vulva and when we do...we will sob inconsolebly. This will be about the point we feel like a freak, like we're not normal, less of a woman, like we are the biggest let down known to man.
Why?....
Because this is the point of reality, this is the point we realize that sex wont be an option for the foreseeable future at least. Maybe even many, many months or years.
Guys, if you think its tough for you to miss out on having sex, try being the reason you cant. Try and put yourself in a mental situation in which you cant have sex because every time you do, someone takes a lighter and sets fire to your penis. Not a nice thought is it. Would you carry on having sex with that burning pain? NO.
Of course we have the other side of the stick, so to speak.
There are the men out there who DO understand because they've Listened and researched. Now we face another problem for these partners. Through no fault of their own, they believe that if they are gentle, then it wont hurt us women. I'm sorry to say to these guys, it will still hurt us. That's NOT your fault though. Its the fault of Lichen Sclerosus, so please dont take it personally. YOU HAVEN'T HURT US. IT DID.
Many men believe they are the cause of the pain, that they weren't gentle enough but it simply isn't the case at all. This can incur even more problems, these men back away completely, they become too scared to become affectionate again, scared they will hurt us again, this then can lead to impotence.
See, Lichen Sclerosus isn't just about the sufferer, its about both of you.
This is why support and understanding is so imperitive. Because it effects both people in the relationship.
So with this in mind, here are some things to bear in mind.
what does a sufferer of Lichen Sclerosus need more than anything else?
Love
Patience
understanding
Respect
Compassion
Sometimes even some chocolates or flowers or wine wouldn't go amiss.
So, I hope this has made things clearer for you.
In this section, We will explore key aspects of living with someone who has Lichen Sclerosus, the do's and don'ts, the emotional impact, fears and what it is they need from you.
As a sufferer of Lichen Sclerosus myself and dealing with many women with it, I know only too well the feelings and thoughts of a sufferer. So we will begin with the emotional aspects.
As soon as we hear that diagnosis the first thing we will do is cry, then google and cry again. Google throws up worst case scenarios (at least until we are ready to see the mountain of good information available) and we will see pictures of women who have barely any vulva left and always we will see the word cancer. This is the point where fear and panic will kick in, thoughts that will cross our minds will be:
Do I have Cancer?
Will I get Cancer?
Am I going to die?
What will happen to my family/children If I die?
As you can see, these are not the nicest of thoughts for anyone to have, but they are real fears. The 5% chance they mention feels more like a 95% chance at this point.
Then we google the symptoms and guess what? the symptoms of vulva cancer and Lichen Sclerosus are extremely similar. More fear and panic follows rapidly.
This is just the tip of the iceberg emotionally. On top of this we are dealing with very little information from our medical professionals, pain that feels like someone is holding a burning flame to our vulva, itching so bad its like we have chickenpox on our vulva and at this point, I bet less than 1% have actually dared to look at our vulva and when we do...we will sob inconsolebly. This will be about the point we feel like a freak, like we're not normal, less of a woman, like we are the biggest let down known to man.
Why?....
Because this is the point of reality, this is the point we realize that sex wont be an option for the foreseeable future at least. Maybe even many, many months or years.
Guys, if you think its tough for you to miss out on having sex, try being the reason you cant. Try and put yourself in a mental situation in which you cant have sex because every time you do, someone takes a lighter and sets fire to your penis. Not a nice thought is it. Would you carry on having sex with that burning pain? NO.
Of course we have the other side of the stick, so to speak.
There are the men out there who DO understand because they've Listened and researched. Now we face another problem for these partners. Through no fault of their own, they believe that if they are gentle, then it wont hurt us women. I'm sorry to say to these guys, it will still hurt us. That's NOT your fault though. Its the fault of Lichen Sclerosus, so please dont take it personally. YOU HAVEN'T HURT US. IT DID.
Many men believe they are the cause of the pain, that they weren't gentle enough but it simply isn't the case at all. This can incur even more problems, these men back away completely, they become too scared to become affectionate again, scared they will hurt us again, this then can lead to impotence.
See, Lichen Sclerosus isn't just about the sufferer, its about both of you.
This is why support and understanding is so imperitive. Because it effects both people in the relationship.
So with this in mind, here are some things to bear in mind.
- Sex will be painful for the sufferer because of Lichen Sclerosus.
- Having patience and understanding that sex isn't always an option for weeks/months/years is essential.
- Talking and Listening to your partner will have a massive positive impact on your relationship.
- Research is also important (may I suggest this website at this point?)
- Attending appointments with your partner is extremely beneficial. It will give you a clearer understanding and a chance to ask questions to professionals.
- Penetrative sex isn't the only option. Check out the link below for Jo Divine website for great alternative ideas.
- Don't play the blame game. You will never win it. Only Lichen Sclerosus can win that game.
- When your partner is having a flare up, run her an epsom salt/dead sea salt bath, get her an ice pack, pass her the antihistamine, Let her sit with no pants on without trying to get her to have sex, cuddle her and tell her you love her, ask her what she needs and support her. This will also have a positive impact on your relationship.
what does a sufferer of Lichen Sclerosus need more than anything else?
Love
Patience
understanding
Respect
Compassion
Sometimes even some chocolates or flowers or wine wouldn't go amiss.
So, I hope this has made things clearer for you.
